college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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