Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Drake has all the answers
I believe in your delicious
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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