Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
