There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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