Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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