I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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