I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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