you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
