I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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