Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
