apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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