xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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