i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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