You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
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It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
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I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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