dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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