We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
