dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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