Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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