Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
