if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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