He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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