you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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