She's JV to your varsity
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet