ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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