Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
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Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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