so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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