At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
