and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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