You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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