Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
