She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You pole danced in your parka.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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