Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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