Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
