lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize