The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
