Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
