Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
