I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
