they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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