I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
