i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
