I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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