marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
