Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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