I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
