I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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