I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
