You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
