oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
