I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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