a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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