I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Who died my cat blue again?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
