So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
