There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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