I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
