Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize